Lesson #3

We discussed the wrinkled heart activity (https://www.teachstarter.com/gb/blog/national-day-bullying-violence-classroom-activity-us/) that shows the lasting effects of bullying. Physical pain is often short lived, whereas social pain can last a lifetime. Bullying bruises hearts and often changes the behaviour person being bullied.

Here are some key understandings of why bullying hurts so much.

  • Humans are wired to belong, and to feel uncomfortable when they experience rejection or exclusion.
  • Research states that the brain perceives social pain as physical pain.
  • Studies show that people can relive and re-experience social pain more easily than physical pain and the emotions they feel are more intense and painful.
  • recent neuro-imaging studies show that parts of the physical pain network are activiated when a person is socially excluded.
  • Physical and social pain share similar neural structures and are linked to evolution and survival needs.

These understandings are from research shared in the “Supporting Every Student Learning Series” with Dr. Tracy Vaillancourt, University of Ottawa.

https://policywise.com/resource/the-effects-of-bullying-on-children/

Next we discussed that bullying often happens when adults are not around because it is quiet or happens out of the classroom. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the people who witness bullying (bystanders) to reduce bullying. The bystanders need to be upstanders…..we talked about being “Bully Busters”. See the poster below.

Poster designed by Althea Kwok (Grade 2/3 Teacher)

These skills can:

  • reduce the audience that a bully craves
  • mobilize the compassion of witnesses to step in and stop the bullying
  • support the victim and reduce trauma
  • be a positive influence in curbing a bullying episode
  • encourage other students to support a school climate of caring
  • report a bullying incident, since 85% of bullying occurs when an adult is not present most

The most important step is to tell an adult and keep telling until an adult stops the bullying behaviour and ensures safety.

Let’s support our children by:

  • giving them permission to step in and do something
  • use these skills in bullying situations
  • rehearsing and role-playing, until they can use these skills on their own

Often times, people don’t intervene when they witness bullying because of the dys-comfort in the situation and they don’t know what to do. These skills will empower or children with tools to stop cruelty, help victims, feel safer and reduce bullying.

These skills and information are gathered from an article written by Dr. Michelle Borba called, “Teaching Kids to be Upstanders,” from 2021. She is an educational psychologist, parenting expert, former teacher and a Mom.