Hello Everyone, 

This December Family Smart is offering a free workshop for families in our community. If you are interested in this workshop please see the link for registration in one of any of the five sessions listed. 

ADHD – The Real Deal

Join us in watching a video by Dr. Duncan, who will dispel the many myths surrounding ADHD by presenting up to date scientific facts about cause, prevalence, diagnosis and treatment. He will explain how and why the ADHD brain works the way it does.

Come together with other families to watch this video presentation and stay for a facilitated discussion by a FamilySmart Parent Peer Support Worker.

Register here to register for one of the five sessions.

Hello Everyone, 

This week I wanted to highlight some great parent workshops and resources that are being offered in our community this fall. Most of which are offered FREE of charge.

Burnaby Family Life 

Systematic Training for Effective Parenting

Saturdays 2:00pm-4:00pm | September 17 – October 29 | 6140 MCKERCHER AVENUE

Tuesdays 6:00pm-8:00pm | October 4 – November 15 | 6140 MCKERCHER AVENUE

Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (“STEP”) is a program for parents of children older than 4 years old. Learn about different parenting styles and approaches to better understand:

• Why children misbehave and how to respond, when to intervene in sibling rivalry and when to ignore misbehavior

• How to use effective discipline to establish and maintain boundaries,

• How to use communication to build respect and cooperation to encourage the development of your child as a positive, contributing member of your family.

Free child care available for children 18 months to 10 years with pre-registration. Snacks and bus tickets are also available.

Register here 

Cameray Child and Family Services

Cameray offers individual and family counselling services, but also workshops and resources for parents. Some useful resources are located here and include videos on a variety of topics including positive discipline, parenting self care and how to support children when they are experiencing challenging behaviours.

As always, if you need any help connecting to these resources, or others, or if you would like to have a conversation about which resources might be appropriate and helpful please don’t hesitate to be in touch with me.

Have a great week!

Happy September Everyone and Welcome (back) to School! 

The first days of the school year are exciting ones. However, it can also include some other feelings too, like anxiousness, anger, or even sadness.  For some, it may be their first year in school.  Many children also have some feelings of nervousness to go along with the excitement of a new school year. Who will be my teacher? Will I have my friends in my class? Will this next grade be hard? All of these are common and valid questions. The tough thing can be that excitement and nervousness sometimes feels very similar in our bodies. In some cases the nervous feelings drown out the exciting thoughts and feelings, even to the extent of causing a child to feel reluctant to go to school.

What Are The Signs and Symptoms of School Anxiety?

Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between run-of-the-mill worries about the first day of school and stronger anxiety that might need some extra help to overcome. Many times your child will tell you about their feelings. However, kids can sometimes not be as vocal about their anxiety, and their symptoms may be more body-based. Here are a few clues to look out for if you think your child might be struggling with school anxiety:

• Headaches, upset stomach, or complaints of other physical problems on school mornings

• Inconsistent or difficulties sleeping

• Frequent physical complaints at school, without a clear illness

• Repeated worries about bad things that could happen while at school, such as getting sick

• Tantrums, anger, or outright refusal to go to school

• Large emotions to situations they traditionally are able to handle (anger, panic attacks etc.)

• Anxiety that seems to be more intense or long-lasting than what is usual for the child’s age

One or more of these symptoms might indicate that your child’s worries about school are stronger than they need to be, and they could use some help to move past them.

Tips for Supporting your Child Back to School 

The Kelty Mental Health Resource Centre has a recent article that might be helpful. Here are some tips that they have identified that might help you support your child as they return to school, or attend for the first time.

1. Identify what is still in your control and your child’s control – Focus on what’s in your control, rather than on the unknowns. While we all would prefer certainty, pandemic times are challenging our ‘flexibility’ muscles in addition to our ‘perseverance’ muscles. Practice what you can do in the short term (e.g., the coming days or weeks) and try not to look too far ahead. Focus on practical things that help to keep us all safe – like regular handwashing and staying home when sick – rather than on the ‘what ifs.’
2. Confidence is key – As a parent, your confidence is an essential part of helping your child transition back to school successfully. Children pick up on our fear! If you find yourself doubting your decision, you might want to try writing down the reasons why you want your child to return to school and review them regularly. And most importantly, remember to communicate this confidence to your child – this will help both you and them keep anxiety in check.
3. Help your child prepare for school return – There’s actually a lot you can do to help your child prepare for return to school. Practice your routines (for now) and stay flexible. This could include things like going over the home morning routine, practicing the route you’ll take the school, and even doing a practice ‘drop off’ so your child knows what to expect. Have your child meet up with a friend at a park – allow them an opportunity to connect socially again before seeing a friend back at school. Going through these steps a few times before school actually starts will help your child get ‘back in the swing of things.’ It probably isn’t a bad idea for you either! Starting to get your child’s sleep schedule back on a ‘school schedule’ and eating well with regular meals and snacks are also ways you can start to get your child ready for return to school.
4. Expect some anxiety – Most families are likely experiencing some level of anxiety or stress as they prepare for the return to school. However, if you’re ready for it, your own and your child’s anxiety won’t throw you off as much. Try some mindfulness activities as a family, and get outside together for some family fun when you can. It can also be helpful to practice scenarios with your child to help them know how to manage anxious feelings that may arise (e.g. deep breathing, running around on the playground at recess), and how to tackle challenging situations that may come up once they start school (e.g., if they are wearing a mask outside on the playground at school and their friends are not, practice how they can respond to questions about this).
5. Reach out for help if you need it – It’s not a sign of failure or weakness to need some help ever – and especially now. So many families are nervous about back to school, and understandably so. Connect with your the administration or counsellors at your child’s school. Also have support networks in place for you as a parent or caregiver. Find a friend who will listen, keep you positive, and lift you up – and you can do the same for them! Social connection is essential for this hard work and we are stronger together.

Additional Thoughts

7. Relationships are critical – Students with strong and trusting relationships with their teachers, as well as friendships with peers, are more likely to want to be at school and view it as a safe place to be. Your child’s teacher will be working hard on developing their relationship with your child. As a parent, you can help your child by facilitating opportunities for your child to make friendships with peers in their class (eg play dates, extra-curriculars etc.)

8. True learning happens in moments of manageable stress – Stress that is not overwhelming (ie mild stress vs Panic attacks) presents people with opportunities to grow and learn beyond their present capabilities. Most students will have some nervous feelings when going through changes like at the beginning of a school year. These are opportunities for growth if these nervous feelings are not overwhelming. If they are larger emotions please let your teacher and/or myself know so that we can come up with additional supports to assist your child.

As always I am here to support your family, as well as your child here at school.  Challenges transitioning back to school is one area that I assist with but I work with many children supporting a diversity of mental health needs.  If you feel like your child would benefit from some extra support please be in contact with me and we can discuss how we can help your child be successful at school. You can reach me by emailing me at scott.anderson@burnabyschools.ca to arrange a time to speak on the phone, online, or in person.

I look forward to a fun and exciting year filled with learning and growth.

Hello Everyone,

Last weekend my son had a really bad day. He was feeling overwhelmed, moody and little problems that were coming up were feeling like gigantic problems. That evening he would have probably told you his day was top 10 worst day all-time.  Thankfully, the next day he was feeling much better, though a little guilty for a few choices he made that day. When he was feeling calm we talked about how the previous day had gone and why he was feeling so overwhelmed. Though some things happened that contributed to his bad day, we decided together that the day was really set up the days before when he had had a sleepover. In short, a dinner of pizza, chips and pop followed by only about 8 hours of sleep and lots of screen time was followed by a day of recovery where he didn’t really feel up to doing any outside activities. He was exhausted, nutrition was not at its best, and he hadn’t really had any exercise in 2 days.

It got me thinking about what are sometimes called the five pillars of mental health.

1. Sleep

2. Nutrition

3. Mindfulness

4. Exercise

5. Communication                                                                                                                                                                       

 I see these in action (or inaction) all the time at school. When a child, who typically has few difficulties in this area, is having a difficult time regulating I will often ask them about the 5 pillars. Usually, I find that one or more pillar has been effected recently (I didn't eat breakfast, I was up late last night etc.).  When we do not get enough sleep, food or exercise and are not being mindful or communicate and socialize with others it can be difficult to regulate our emotions. 

1. Sleep: Routine is key to establishing a healthy, effective sleep cycle. Remember how annoyed you were with having a bed time as a child? There was a reason your parents insisted.  Falling asleep and waking up are part of your sleep cycle. Everyone has had a bad nights sleep and then had to work or go to school the next day. Hard wasn't it?   For more info on sleep routines, you can read my previous blog post here 

Tip: Be consistent with your sleep routines, even on the weekends. It can be difficult establishing healthy sleep cycles if you vary your sleep and wake up times through the week.

 2. Nutrition:  You might be familiar with the phenomenon "hangry" when we get cranky when we are overly hungry. Diet effects our ability to regulate. Moreover, as much as you like your favourite chips, chocolates or candies, try not to eat too much of them and opt for healthier choices … your body and mind will thank you. Try to eat more whole foods and ones that pack a nutritional punch, and try to get a variety of different foods to ensure you get a variety of nutrients. It is all about balance. Treats are fine in moderation and when you have a diet that consists of a variety of foods.

  Tip: Canada’s new food guide is a good starting point (check it out HERE)


 3. Mindfulness: Mindfulness and meditation can have a significant positive impact on the health of your brain, body, and mental health. Practicing mindfulness and meditation helps you feel more in control of your emotions and allows you to calmly respond to them as opposed to react to them.  Being aware of our emotional, and physical state, in the moment, is critical to our ability to regulate our emotions. This is a great activity to do with your children. 

 Tip: Use apps like Calm or Mindshift to help you with mindfulness practices


 4. Exercise: Ever go for a walk during your work day? How did it effect your productivity and mood afterward? Exercise is critical to our overall mental health.  Just take a look at how happy kids are while running around outside, playing with their friends, running, jumping, climbing on things. Consistency is key here as well; try to be active for about 30 minutes each day. Whether it’s going for a brisk walk, jog, a virtual fitness class, or yoga, if you’re getting your heart rate up, you’re on the right track. 

 Tip: There are a million exercise apps and programs out there. However, regular habits are key. Personally, I avoid the 10 week programs, that don't continue after the 10 weeks are complete, in favor of regular social exercise habits. A walk/run with a friend or partner can not only fill our exercise needs, it can fill our communication/social needs too! 


5. Communication: Being social is a large part of what makes us human. We all have our moments when we need and want alone time. However, it is not healthy to be cut off from others. For children, they need our help and encouragement to connect socially and it is a critical need for children to practice and develop their play and social skills. Digital or in-person social moments are helpful for our overall mental health.  There are so many tools you can use to easily jump on a video chat with your friends and family. 

 Tip: Choose an app like Zoom, WhatsApp, Google Meet or House Party … there are too many to list, just choose one and go with it and connect with your friends and family. Have a digital or in-person dinner party or help your child set up a playdate and have them bring their adult along and you can fill your social need while your child does the same. 


Have a great week!

Good Morning Everyone,

Building and maintaining a family is a difficult task. Solving problems collaboratively, communicating effectively, supporting the hopes and dreams of our children and adult family members can feel overwhelming even at the best of times. It can sometimes feel like we, as parents, are alone in this. Connecting to other parents and skilled professionals, however, can be extremely helpful and well worth the time and energy.

Burnaby Family Life is a an organization in our community that provides many programs that can be helpful for families, most of which are free of charge. I often recommend their support groups and parenting workshops to families in our community and have seen how effective and helpful they can be.

Burnaby Family Life’s Spring programming has been released and registration is currently open here.

Cameray Child and Family Services is another amazing organization in our community. Most known for its free counselling services, Cameray also offers groups and workshops for families in our community. Registration for any of the workshops or groups, outlined below, can be done by emailing pspgroupsignup@cameray.ca

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Wishing you all a wonderful long weekend!

Hello Everyone,

This weekend my family decided it was time for spring cleaning. It was very needed. So, we decided to use our mornings to deep clean our home (it was way to sunny in the afternoon to stay inside!). While we were working I decided to listen to a few podcasts. I had a few downloaded waiting to be listened to, but I wanted to share with you all the one that I chose. It was great and really informative.

Dr Russel Barkley is a renowned author and one the leading researchers on ADHD. He is interviewed in part one of a two part deep dive on the Ologies Podcast. It is well worth the time and it is filled with useful information about ADHD, a history of its research, as well as its causes and effects.  In part two, Alie Ward, the host of Ologies, interviews, Jessica McCabe, Jahla Osborne and Rene Brooks, talks about diagnosis, medications, as well as tips and tricks for understanding ADHD and thriving with neurodiversity.

Happy listening and wishing you all an amazing Spring Break.

Hello Everyone,

I hope that everyone had a great Family Day long weekend and, in whatever way that you define family, you were able to connect with the important people around you,

Many of you might remember the Family Smart ADHD workshop I posted in February. If you were unable to make it to that workshop or if you would like to continue your learning on the subject of ADHD, Family Smart is giving us another opportunity. Dr. Don Duncan’s thoughts will be presented by video and the workshop will also give parents an opportunity to share strategies and best practices. There are a variety of times and dates for this workshop across the month of March. Please see below for more details. Registration for any of these workshop dates can be found here .

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Hello  Everyone,

This February, Family Smart is bringing us 2 free virtual workshops that may be of interest to you. The first is a workshop on ADHD and the second is on building resilience and relationships with our children. More information on these workshops, including registration information is available in the fliers located below.

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Hello Everyone,

The Burnaby School District will be hosting a FREE virtual parent information night on Feb 9th, 2022 from 6-8pm. The session will be hosted by the Burnaby School District, First Nations Health Authority-Indigenous Educator, Fraser Health-Public Health Nurse and Odyssey Substance Use Services- Youth Counsellor.

To register and receive a zoom link please email jessica.gill@burnabyschool

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Hello Everyone,

For the past few weeks my youngest daughter has been taking swimming lessons. She is actually a pretty good swimmer but this week she ran up against an obstacle. Jumping off the edge into the deep end. Clearly, she is quite nervous about this. This past week we were at a pool working on it. I was in the pool, encouraging her and trying different strategies to help her, and she was standing on the edge telling me, “nope”

Afterwards, when we were all calm and relaxed I was asking her what was preventing her from meeting this goal. Finally, she asked me “what if I sink to the bottom?”  To her this is a very valid question and it was clearly driving her nervous feelings.

The question reminded me of a book that I stumbled across lately that I wanted to share with you today.  The book was really helpful generating a conversation between my daughter and I about her fears.

The What If’s is a wonderful book by Emily Kilgore that speaks to these questions that bring with them doubt and nervous feelings. It also highlights the ‘good what if’s’ that we often don’t recognize or give space for and that help us manage these doubts and nervous feelings.

I hope that you all have a wonderful week and that you find this resource helpful generating conversations with your kids. For me, my daughter is still working on ‘the jump’ but I think we have a few new strategies. Tonight’s book…….