Hello Everyone,

Over the past few weeks I have had a few conversations with parents about screen time and how to help our children, not only become good citizens of our community, but good digital citizens as well. So, I thought I would put forward a few thoughts on this very big topic.

Screen time is increasing among all segments of our population, not just children, but children often are still developing the control and self-awareness to limit their actions and time online.   In some cases, it is our only way to connect socially to others or have relaxing time. Screens can also be a strategy for managing our children. However, here are a few statistics related to kids and screen time that I found surprising and jarring.

Some statistics that stood out for me here are that only 8% of students in our community are meeting the recommended screen time limits, under 2 hours a day. Second, is the average recreational screen time among youth in our community is a whopping 5.6 hours/day.  The question that came up for me is what are the effects of this screen use on our children.

Positive Effects

First, and often less talked about, are the positive effects of screen use. During the pandemic we have become more reliant on screens for not only our jobs but kids are using them for school more frequently or to connect with friends. The positive effects of screens are significant and crucially important, especially to our children.

Missed Opportunities

Viewing screens (tv/movies) in a group, social/online gaming, and social media activities present us, and our children, with many positive experiences. However, while viewing screens we are also missing out on other opportunities such as physical activities. face to face interactions including connecting to family, reading, outdoor time, art activities such as drawing, or even managing boredom (an overlooked skill).

It is sometimes helpful to think of screen time and social media use like our diet. What are we consuming? Just like with food our digital diet can be nutritious or junk food. Having a treat is fine on occasion but we need to have a balance of experiences (food). If all we do is eat junk food we are going to start feeling terrible and our bodies are not going to be at their best. The same goes for screens. If we have a lot of screen time in a day we are can feel equally bad and our bodies will certainly not be at their best.

Digital Citizenship

Our children’s online activities need to be monitored by care givers at home. They need to know that as their caregiver who is responsible for them and cares about their well-being that you will periodically be monitoring their device and activities (who they are talking to, what they are saying and doing, and what they are watching and reading online). They also need to have restrictions placed on what sites they visit and what they can do on those sites. This sounds like a lot, but it is critically important. The good news is that most devices, sites or platforms have tools to help parents. For example, devices can limit not only screen time on their settings but also what content the user can access. If you would like some help with setting up your child’s device with these restrictions, there are many sites online that offer helpful tips and how-to. I can also help if you would like assistance.

If you are unsure what your child is consuming online or what they are up to. I would encourage you to have an open conversation with your child and watch or play online with your child so that you can learn what activities your child is engaged in.

Resources

Looking for tips for limiting screens and gaming in your household? Click HERE

Wondering when a good time for my child to get a phone?

Social Media and its affects on your Mental Health

Positive Effects of Social Media

As humans, social interaction is vital to our psychological well-being. When we cannot see the people we love in person, social media gives us the tools to stay connected. For youth, social media plays a significant and important part in their social lives. While these platforms cannot fully replace face-to-face interaction, social media can provide a number of positive benefits.

Screen time can:

  • Provide emotional support during difficult situations
  • Raise awareness of important issues and advocate for social change
  • Create social connections when you can’t access them in person
  • Engage in creative self-expression
  • Network with people who have similar interests to you
  • Find new friends and communities to connect with

Problematic effects of Social Media

While social media platforms do provide some benefits, they can also have draw backs. Current trends and research suggest that there may be a strong connection between social media and mental health conditions. Some of these include:

Negative Self-Perception

When people post on social media, they typically share the highlights of their lives. However, when all we see on our feeds are positive experiences and achievements, we can feel worse about ourselves. These highly-edited highlights of other peoples’ lives can directly impact our self-esteem, resulting in a negative self-perception.

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

While FOMO is a common phenomenon that we experience on and offline, social media can exacerbate these feelings of exclusion and envy. On social media we often may see people at parties and events, hanging out with friends, or taking exotic trips — leading us to believe that others lead better or more fun lives. FOMO can be very harmful to our mental health, resulting in lower self-esteem and higher anxiety levels.

Loneliness and Isolation

Although social media platforms are full of people, social media platforms may make you feel more alone than ever. High social media usage increases feelings of isolation and loneliness, and reducing social media use can decrease them. Focusing on face-to-face interaction with the people around you may improve your overall well-being.

Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety are common mood disorders that affect millions of people.  Research suggests that there may be a correlation between time spent using social media and depression and anxiety symptoms.

Some Signs Social Media Is Affecting Your Mental Health

Everyone uses social media and screens differently, however, using these platforms should not make you feel unhappy or anxious. If you log off  feeling worse about yourself than before you started scrolling, your feeds may be impacting your mental health — and you may want to reduce your screen time. Some signs of social media affecting your mental health are:

  • You Feel Sad, Drained, or Stressed after use
  • You Constantly Compare Yourself to Others
  • You Find It Difficult to Stay Off Social Media
  • ‘Likes’ Directly Impact Your Self-Esteem

Tips for Improving Your Relationship with Social Media

  • Refine your feeds (What are you consuming? Does it enrich your life?)
  • Limit daily usage
  • Create no-phone zones or times in your house (this should apply to ALL family members)
  • Take a break from social media

How do you know when your child’s digital diet is not healthy? 

  • Is your child staying up later and later to stay on the computer/device?
  • Is your child fidgety, anxious and/or angry if they don’t have their device?
  • Is their tech usage negatively impacting their schoolwork, family life or other activities or interests?
  • Is your child dreaming of virtual imagery?
  • Is your child hiding their screen usage or hiding their devices from you?
  • Does your child seem to be having a more difficult time regulating their emotions?
  • Does your child seem more apathetic and bored more easily?
  • Is your child aggressive when the device is removed?
  • Is your child participating in unsafe behaviors online?

Every child is different and each have unique needs and tolerances, including tolerances for screen time. But if you are finding the answers to the above questions are ‘yes’, it may be worth reviewing your family screen time policy. In the end the goal may be to restore a healthy balance of activities in your family.  Consult with a mental health expert if you feel like you need some help refining your families digital diet.