As we begin the second half of the school year, it is great to see how the students have grown in so many ways and continue to develop. As I mentioned in the December post “Raising Children”, (Ms. S. Sokugawa – Relationships are the key to learning. (sd41blogs.ca) ) being parents is one of the most difficult jobs of our lives, but also one of the most rewarding. The decisions that we make as parents are made with good intentions but have lasting implications even though we may not see them at that moment. Nurturing and instilling a sense of responsibility is one of those important characteristics that we hope our children will possess one day. After all, our children will continue to be our children no matter how old they grow. However, they will be adults for a very long time and so we must remember that the foundations we give our children must last throughout their lives. We must remember that responsibility does not  magically occur with a wave of a wand, but is something that must be developed and nurtured over time through practice and experience. We must allow our children to do things even though it may not be the way we expect it to be done. Encouraging a growth mindset, as mentioned in the January post, (Ms. S. Sokugawa – Relationships are the key to learning. (sd41blogs.ca) )helps with nurturing their responsibility to learn from each experience. That is why guiding and encouraging our children is important without actually doing it for them. Without making mistakes, improvement and learning cannot follow. The role as the loving adults in the children’s lives is to guide, encourage, teach, and redirect as we see fit.  It is important to remember that if the same mistakes are made repetitively, the lesson has not been learned and we need to help them look for what went wrong and figure out how to do it differently. Making mistakes helps to strengthen our problem-solving skills and sometimes more guidance is needed. Experience is a key to building responsibility. Therefore, giving our children opportunities to build responsibility is important for their future.

Perception and perspectives are two considerations to make before change can occur. I have added a few things if you are interested in further reading.

https://apple.news/ABpC_HFf6Sx6Y1eQCoosSCg

 The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson gives strategies on how to nurture the developing mind of your child. A different perspective to what we may have grown up with.

 Punished By Rewards by Alfie Kohn is an older book, but a good read. Kohn looks at rewards as a punishment since “change” only comes about to gain just the reward but does not bring about real change. Change has to be intrinsic and occur because change is the goal, not gaining the reward. According to Kohn, giving rewards becomes the soul goal for the change and when the reward is no longer desirable, then behaviour goes back to what is was.

I have provided a link to Alfie Kohn’s book.

Punished by Rewards – (Book)