Today I saw the plane, but it didn’t see me. I feel gutted, I feel to empty to do anything I can’t go on. There’s no hope any more they went as far out as they thought would be necessary. The pain is too much to take. I’m done, done with the fire, done with the food, done with the world I’m just done. I can’t live my entire life out here, what if I have to stay here until winter I won’t have any food and it would be too cold. I just want it to end it, but it’s too hard too hard to end it all.

All this all this I did it’s just another part of the game another part of it all. But this game this game of life I can`t play it without hope. I also can`t play this game forever if they don`t come someday. I slept only that I did`t sleep. Thinking about it all to end, repeating the word “clouddown, clouddown“ wanting the clouds to come down. But in the morning he was still there still there looking at what I did hating it hating it all, hating what the old Brian did.

There were things that had happened to Brian two true things. He wasn’t the same, the disappointment made him new and he would never be the same. The other thing is he would not die not again he was new. The old Brian made a lot of mistakes now I need to fix them, learn from them.