Size of My Problem! Being Independent Thinkers!

Hello Everyone,

Today we had a discussion, which is also worth having at home, around social thinking and problem solving.

As we work toward finding the confidence to solve our own problems that come up during a school day, it is important to know the size of the problem. If I know the size of the problem, then I can know the size of my reaction!

First, we defined what is a Small, Medium, and Big Problem:

Small Problems are:

  • Unexpected situations. — For example, someone does an “unexpected behaviour” which we talked about before, or the schedule of the day changes.
  • Quickly fixed. — Generally, these problems have a quick solution if we are calm and think about it.
  • A GLITCH, no BIG DEAL! — This came up randomly and isn’t an all the time problem. You made a mistake, you didn’t read instructions, you can’t find something!
  • YOU FIX — Typically these problems can be fixed by YOU. You don’t need an adult to do it.

Medium Problems are:

  • Didn’t expect this at all! — The unexpected event is bigger and goes beyond a small change in the schedule.
  • Can be fixed, but may take time. — There might have been a conflict and we need to talk about everyone’s perspective as we solve the problem.
  • Fights, being mean. — While no one was physically hurt, there were mean things said, words exchanged, and it needs to be resolved so we can all work together well.
  • Losing something important — While you won’t melt from losing something, losing this item makes you feel upset as it was important to you and you really want to find it.
  • Make you and someone around you upset. — These problems usually involve more than one person.
  • ADULT + YOU FIX — Typically, you need an adult to work with you to solve this kind of problem, but you are involved in coming up with solutions.

Big Problems are:

  • Someone is hurt or sick. — Someone hit their head outside, someone is sick and needs assistance, or someone was in an argument that resulted in the two people getting physical and hurting one another.
  • Affects lots of people. — Usually, these problems are serious and definitely involve more than one person.
  • Complex and hard to solve. — These problems can be long-term and involve complex situations or emotions that need to be considered carefully to help find solutions.
  • Emergency! — There is a situation where everyone is in trouble, someone is being hurt, or we are having a natural disaster!
  • ADULT TO FIX! — Generally, these situations do require an adult to be your guide in addressing the problem or following emergency procedures.

In class, we discussed different situations and sorted them. You might try this at home!

  • What is the problem?
  • Is it a Small, Medium, or Big sized problem?
  • What is your reaction to the problem?
  • Did the reaction MATCH the size of the problem?
  • Who helped you solve the problem?
  • Was it a problem you could have solved on your own, even though you asked the teacher or your parent for help?

All questions are good, but try to do some independent thinking, too!  In class, if you have lost something, forgot your journal, can’t remember the instructions, are feeling frustrated you don’t know something, need supplies, have technology that isn’t working, were not listening and didn’t hear instructions, or were absent and are trying to catch up, then know — these are all small problems. And YOU can do things to solve them yourself before asking for adult assistance:

  • Take three breaths in and out through your nose at your chair. Or, go do it out on the porch to get some fresh air. Get a quick drink of water. Recalibrate and reset if you are not feeling calm enough to solve the situation yourself.
  • Ask a peer for help.
  • Use your eyes, ears, and the body language you see in class (social cues) to pick up on information to make decisions or to find out things on your own.
  • Tell yourself, “This is a small problem, I will breathe and stay calm and find a solution on my own.”
  • Read the board,the GROUP PLAN schedule, the white posters showing the steps you need to take each morning, the signs on the building supply boxes, and other visual cues to figure out where things are or what you need to be doing.
  • Say to yourself, “Technology sometimes glitches, and I will ask a partner to help, then try another device if my iPad or laptop is not charged up.”
  • Read the instructions a second or third time — maybe you went too fast. We are great readers, but sometimes we go so fast we are poor absorbers of information.
  • Watch your peers. What are they doing right now? Do you need to be doing that, too? Social cues!
  • Ask yourself if what you are doing is SAFE and FRIENDLY?
  • Tell yourself, “It is okay to not know this. I just haven’t learned it yet.” Be okay with sometimes not knowing.
  • Tell yourself, “I will try this even if I make a mistake. It is okay if I make mistakes. Making mistakes is learning!”

Thank you,

Ms. D