Recalibrate & Social Thinking: Some new tips!
Hello Everyone,
As we are getting to know one another, we are working on tools and strategies that help us get along well together.
Expected and Unexpected Behaviour:
Expected behaviour is what one would generally expect in a given situation. For example, what kind of behaviour is generally okay at school? In the classroom? At the dinner table? In a library?
Unexpected behaviour is something we do that falls outside of the general norms of behaviour. For example, a person talking during the movie in a movie theatre full of people watching the film is unexpected. What happens when we do unexpected behaviour? Generally, people don’t like it, or they can feel stress.
The reality is, when we do expected behaviours in group situations, it makes the group feel less stressed, and people get along with us better! This doesn’t mean we can’t be ourselves, or that we can’t make mistakes sometimes. It just means when we follow certain norms in group situations, the SYSTEM of getting along just works better.
Examples: Not yelling when you don’t get your way, using your words to communicate needs, waiting your turn in line ups, not touching one another and respecting personal space.
We did some skits together as a group to practice recognizing and naming expected and unexpected behaviours so we can become more aware of them.
Don’t Hug Doug!
We read a very funny book called Don’t Hug Doug about being aware of everyone’s personal space. We went over many situations in which we do not need to be physical. Give one another space when working together in groups. Don’t get aggressive during tag games. Don’t ever hug someone or put your hand on someone without permission — give a high five instead of a hug if the person is okay with that!
Five Ways to Respectfully Disagree:
As part of our human body studies, we are using KidsHealth.org to look at all types of information about body systems and how they work. On this website are also helpful articles about social-emotional learning and communication strategies. One of them is Five Ways to Respectfully Disagree, which I went over with the students today.
Students have Free Choice Time twice a week at the end of the day (Wednesday and Friday), which is directly connected to our Physical & Health Education, Career Education, and ADST curricular competencies, as well as the core competencies. It gives an opportunity for students to practice, under supervision, social thinking strategies. It is also a great time to catch up on work, read, build, and practice creative and critical thinking skills.
I noticed during Free Choice on Friday how we are still working on how to play games respectfully and how to use our words, so we don’t end in conflicts or misunderstandings. So, we went over these tips. When you disagree with someone, or you don’t see eye to eye about anything — particularly rules of a game — here are some things to do:
- Don’t make it personal. If you get upset, remember you are mad about the idea or the situation, not the person.
- Avoid putting down people’s ideas, beliefs, or personal characteristics. Don’t yell, scream, or taunt the person. Take a breath. Stay calm. State what is making you feel bad. Use the phrase: WHEN YOU ________, I FEEL __________. Make it about how you are feeling rather than attacking the other person.
- Use I statements to communicate how you feel, what you think, and what you want or need. Try to do it calmly after taking a breath. Using YOU statements can sound attacking and argumentative.
- Listen to the other point of view. Being a good listener lets the other person know you respect their right to another perspective even if you don’t agree. Try to use the HEAR method. Use body language that shows you are listening. Be quiet and give the other person a chance to say their part.
- STAY CALM. If things get heated, things are not going to get resolved. Take a breath. If you can’t stay calm, walk away for a bit or get some help. Remember on the playground to use the STOP, WALK, TALK method for avoiding more serious conflict.
Okay, let’s work on these things at school and at home!
Thank you,
Ms. D